Most Muslim men you see are moderate in their beliefs and behavior. As you pass them on the street, in a hospital, a restaurant, or your neighborhood, they are primarily concerned about the same daily issues non-Muslims are: earning a living, feeding their families, caring for their homes, and living day-to-day life. Yet, within, they are engaged in a battle of the mind.

The teachings of their faith and the beliefs of their Muslim community are that a man must exercise control and dominance to maintain respect. The battle they face is how to live out those traits that their Qur’an and their Muslim community is expecting of them.

Some Muslim men are secular and not religious, especially if they live in the West and are westernized. However, the average Muslim is challenged to adopt this mindset of dominance around three major concepts: (1) power, (2) honor, (3) revenge.

At its extreme, this belief in dominance is seen by the world in acts of terrorism. For the moderate Muslim man, the call to dominate is much more subtle. He is called to dominate his wife, his children, his home, and himself. 

Christians believe in and respect concepts such as forgiveness, mercy, love, and truth. Therefore, it is difficult for us to understand that Muslims do not share these concepts. Being truthful in the way we know it is simply not a part of their thinking or background. Truth is not relevant or essential. Thus, when a Muslim talks to you, he is not thinking in terms of what is the truth. His purpose is to outwit you. What he is saying to himself is, “Now if I say this, what will the other person say?” This disregard for truth will express itself in all aspects of Muslim life, from their personal business affairs to world politics.

What impresses them is power. Muslim men will use power to attain honor. And if by chance they fail and honor is taken from them, then they must take revenge. They will work unceasingly, no matter how long it takes, until they obtain it. This is the mindset that the Muslim man is challenged to uphold. His culture expects him to be motivated by a quest for power, for honor, and for revenge.

When he has failed to maintain power and honor, (which is a failure to dominate), then he experiences shame as a Muslim man.

Just as fear is the primary element that affects a Muslim woman’s thinking, so fear controls the Muslim man’s thinking. He fears what the Muslim community thinks of him and has a great fear of displeasing Allah.

Outsiders could interpret the control and dominance that a Muslim woman and her children live under as the Muslim man protecting his family. However, the truth is that he is protecting himself. He cannot lose honor.


  • Pray that genuine love for his wife and children will direct how a Muslim man cares for his family rather than the fear of man or Allah.
  • Ask God to set the Muslim men free from the spirits of fear, control and dominion and lead them to encounter with the true LOVE OF GOD.

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